Are you currently struggling in your relationship? Or does every girl you date end up going out the door? Then you must be one of the many men who unconsciously show their neediness without even knowing it.
Being a clingy, needy, and demanding boyfriend or husband can create conflicts and can even send your girl packing. You might not know it, but women’s intuitions are pretty strong and most of them trust their instincts 100%. If they feel like something’s fishy with your behavior, they will definitely let you know.
So what does it take for you to realize the things you’re doing that show your pestering neediness? Here are the 3 signs and how to stop them in their tracks:
1. Securing Your Own Emotional Reassurance Over Her Needs
So she’s had a bad day and she’s taking it out on you. You don’t remember doing anything wrong. You weren’t late, you didn’t forget an anniversary or a birthday, and you certainly didn’t forget to do anything she asked you to. She’s barking at you for all the littlest things and quite frankly, it’s annoying.
So you barrage her with questions like “Did I do something wrong?,” “Why are you treating me this way?,” or “Why don’t you stop being a shrewd and just tell me why you’re acting this way?”
Well, I hate to break it to you, but not everything in her life is about you. You obviously know she’s had a bad day so give her a break – she has the right to be angry and if it means she has to displace that emotion on you, then let her. If it’s as simple as the silent treatment, then understand that she probably needs some time to cool down.
By pestering her with questions even though you already know she’s not okay, you’re only doing it to gain emotional security for yourself. It shows that you’re not really thinking of her well-being, but yours.
The Solution: Since you know she’s not feeling so good, acknowledge it and offer support.
You can say, “I know you’re tired and you probably had a bad day at work so just sit back and relax. I’ll take care of dinner tonight.” Or, “If your boss is giving you a hard time, I want you to know that I have your back.”
These statements show that you’re thinking of her and her well-being, and not your need to feel emotionally safe.
2. Overcompensating To Get Brownie Points
If you don’t normally clean the house and today you are, your girl will definitely know something’s up. When you’re trying too hard or overcompensating for something, believe you me, women will know you’re hiding something.
For some people, when they do something wrong, they overcompensate so their mistake is hidden in the shadows and the attention is directed somewhere else. Or it could be as simple as plain guilt.
So when you do something that’s out of the ordinary, women will really know that you need something.
The Solution: If you want to get brownie points, do it everyday.
I know, I know, it’s exhausting to give effort each and every day to get something, such as a night out with friends or buying a new flat screen TV for the living room. But think about the time when you were just pursuing your girlfriend or wife. Didn’t your efforts to put your best foot forward come naturally?
And when you did impress her, didn’t she give in to your requests? By doing special things for her on a regular basis, you’re actually promoting an environment where your needs are also met on a regular basis.
3. Doing Something Out Of The Ordinary Just So You Can Get Sex Tonight
When you’re in a long-term relationship, your sex life can be, well, nonexistent. Sometimes, familiarity will turn your once passionate relationship into something that’s just there – like air. You know you need it, but you hardly notice it at all.
For men, sex is one of your most basic needs and when your girlfriend or wife doesn’t reciprocate your desires, then you know you need to do something.
Just like mistake number 2, doing things just to get something will definitely leave you with the door closed in your face.
For example, you really want to have sex with your wife tonight so you take her out to dinner. You go on a date, take her to her favorite restaurant and head home.
You think she’s gonna give it to you tonight because you were extra romantic. But when you initiate, she tells you she’s got a headache and needs to go to bed early.
What happens then? You become so frustrated that it leads to a fight.
Women know when you want something and it’s not their obligation to give it to you just because you did something special.
The Solution: Do something special for her with no agenda. When you don’t expect anything in return, it’s actually quite paradoxical, but it’s actually those times when you actually will get something.
Making your woman feel special without pressuring her to give you something back is called respect. And women can smell that from a mile away, too.
So get up from that chair and stop doing the things that show your obvious neediness. If you think forcing your girlfriend or giving her something in exchange will get you what you want, then you’re doing it wrong.
The best and only solution to get what you want from your girlfriend or wife is by being an everyday gentleman.