The concept of the ‘alpha male’ is one that you frequently hear in modern pop culture. Unfortunately, very little of this demonstrates understanding of what an alpha male truly is and what he represents.
One substrata of the Internet is especially fond of the ‘alpha male’ concept. Read through any community of self-proclaimed ‘pick up artists’, and you’ll learn plenty about the topic. In their view, attaining ‘alpha male’ status is the apex of winning the attention and admiration of females.
In many ways, this is correct; men and women alike are drawn to the so-called ‘alpha’ in any group. The term is an appropriation from animal psychology meaning the ‘leader’ in any pack of animals. It is most commonly applied to dogs, and the ‘alpha dog’ is looked to by the other pack members for guidance, security and structure.
More often than not, attempts to transfer the ‘alpha’ concept to human culture get it completely wrong. That’s why there’s a misconception that associates ‘alpha male’ status with loud, boorish behavior or a desire to be the center of attention at all times to the point of obnoxiousness. In reality, this type of behavior is the precise antithesis of ‘alpha’.
So if most people have it wrong, what are some legitimate traits of a true alpha male?
1. If You Have To Ask, You’re Not An Alpha Male
There’s a great line about poker that goes, “If you can’t spot the sucker at the table, it’s you.”
A similar concept applies to being an alpha male: if you have to ask if you are an alpha male, you’re not.
If you read books or pour through ‘pick up forums’ for validation of your ‘alpha male’ status, you’re not one. A true alpha male doesn’t need external validation of his status.
2. A True Alpha Male Doesn’t Sweat “Picking Up” Girls
An alpha male’s attraction to women is not a ’cause’, but an ‘effect’. In other words, women are attracted to the alpha male but learning pick up ‘routines’ to ‘pull chicks’ doesn’t make you one.
In fact, being too desperate and needy about your desire for women automatically disqualifies you. Women are attracted to the alpha male for who he is and not because he’s ‘smooth’ or has strong ‘game’.
3. Trying To “Neg” Women Is The Opposite Of Alpha Behavior
The true alpha male isn’t intimidated by women. He’s comfortable and confident around them.
Unfortunately, the misguided tactic of so called “pick up gurus” that involves taking away a woman’s confidence by “insulting” her with a snide remark so she works to earn your approval is about as ‘non alpha’ as it comes.
You can’t build yourself up by knocking others down. And you certainly can’t ‘fake’ alpha status–especially by being a jerk.
The true alpha male is just the opposite; his self-confidence allows him to be kind and empathetic to others.
4. A True Alpha Male Takes Care Of Others
In much of today’s pop culture, the ‘alpha male’ is conflated with thugs, gangstas, and other egocentrics. The true alpha male doesn’t have a ‘win at all cost’ attitude. Instead, his confidence derives from strength of character and a desire to be a leader.
In no way, shape, or form is he a ‘bully’ nor does he try to intimidate those who are weaker. The ‘true alpha’ looks out for others. He doesn’t take advantage of them.
5. A True Alpha Doesn’t Care About His “Persona”
Another mistake you’ll find in pick up forums suggests that an ‘alpha male’ has a ‘bad boy’ personality when in fact, a true alpha doesn’t worry about superficialities like ‘image’ or ‘persona’.
Clothes, tattoos, or whatever current styles are supposed to be the hallmark of ‘bad boys’ have no ability to convey ‘alpha status’. A true alpha male might be an ‘outlaw’ but he doesn’t have to be. He knows who he is and is comfortable with it.
He doesn’t need to follow trends; he sets them through his actions.
Alpha male status can’t be ‘faked’. In fact, the last thing that a ‘true’ alpha male is concerned with is convincing others of his status.
The more you worry about being an alpha male, the less chance you have at attaining the status. The only way to become a legitimate alpha male is to ‘earn’ the status by developing your character, confidence, and intellect. Here’s how you can do just that.